Secrets

September 28, 1992, 1:00 PM, Room of Requirement, Hogwarts

Adam Clarke

The room was filled with a peculiar tension, neither of us quite sure how to begin the conversation that seemed to loom between us. As Harry and I stood in silence, I couldn’t help but reflect on the past summer and how our lives had become intricately intertwined.

We had lived together under the same roof, sharing meals and quiet moments that had brought us close; the events at the Village Du Phantasime, moreso.

I remembered the simple joys of our time together— the shared breakfasts, the comfortable silence of late-night conversations, even his stupid little inside jokes over my mishaps with the rug.

It was a side of Harry that few had the privilege to see, and I cherished the moments when he let his guard down.

But now, as we stood here, on the cusp of a conversation that felt weighted with significance, it all felt somewhat hollow. There were questions in the air, unspoken words that hung heavy, waiting to be acknowledged and addressed.

“I guess this—” “Adam, we—”

Just as I opened my mouth to speak, Harry did the same, our voices overlapping in a jumble of words and syllables. We both fell silent for a moment, and then, almost in perfect harmony, burst into laughter.

The tension seemed to dissipate with each shared chuckle.

It was a most welcome moment of ease between us, a reminder of the camaraderie that had grown between Harry and I over the summer. Amidst the fading laughter, I finally managed to find my voice.

“You go first.” I offered, giving Harry a reassuring smile.

He nodded, his expression serious as he took a step closer to me. “Adam, we’ve been keeping secrets from each other— and our friends.”

The light atmosphere in the room shifted again, growing slightly somber.

I grappled with the idea of giving Harry full disclosure, knowing full well that certain knowledge could have far-reaching consequences, especially given my unique perspective as an inserted character with knowledge of canon— even if not fully reliable by this point.

As I considered my options, I couldn’t help but wonder whether it was wise to reveal that particular secret.

Yeah, Harry, I’m not actually Adam Clarke, but the soul of an adult man put in a child’s body. I thought, dark amusement flashing through my mind. Not a chance in Hell he’d even believe that, and even if he did, I’m sure his reaction would be like Snape’s. Fear, revulsion.

Perhaps, for the time being, it was best to tread carefully and choose my words wisely. Instead, I decided to focus on the topic of this conversation, something that wouldn’t carry the same weight of revelation.

I cleared my throat.

“There are things about myself that I haven’t told you.” I admitted. “One of them is this ability I have, ever since June the Tenth… I can see things that most people can’t.”

I paused for a moment, allowing Harry to absorb this piece of information. It was a relatively safe revelation, one that wouldn’t expose any deeper, more significant secrets. And for now, I chose to say nothing more, letting the conversation rest in Harry’s hands.

“You can see the magic in the air.” Harry said, not looking particularly surprised at my allusion. “I can, too.”

“I noticed.” I said, letting out a breath. “You were doing the same things I was— I saw the signs.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh.” I said, glad that I wasn’t being pressed or yelled at. “Seemingly looking off into space, getting distracted… Honestly, I wouldn’t have thought anything of it, if I hadn’t been doing the same things as well.”

“What kind of things do you see?” Harry said, his hunger for more information making itself known.

“Before we get into it…” I said as I took a step to the side, staring at the room.

I turned my attention inward, mentally reaching out to Alef. Alef, could you provide us with some comfortable seating, please?

In response, the Room of Requirement began to shift and transform, its magic responding to the whispered desires of its occupants. The cold stone floor was replaced by a warm rug. Plush, inviting couches seemed to materialize out of thin air. The room itself took on a cozy ambiance, with warm lighting and a crackling fireplace casting a soft, golden glow across the space.

The air was filled with the comforting scent of burning wood, and the flickering flames in the fireplace danced to an enchanting rhythm.

Thank you.

“That’s better.” I said as I settled into my seat, with Harry doing the same, if a little more hesitantly. “Don’t you think?”

“What kind of things?” Harry repeated, undeterred by the momentary distraction.

I considered the boy’s question once more, giving him a quick look before staring into the fire. “I can see films of magic over things which are enchanted. I can almost hear the hum of it as it pulses, but that might be my imagination.”

Harry nodded, eager. “And the sparks? Do you see those?”

That question piqued my amusement, but I nodded in response.

“Yes, sometimes I can see ‘the sparks’, as you put it.” I admitted, my voice carrying a sense of knowing mirth. “They’re like tiny bursts of magic, dancing through the air. That’s Alef Ard.”

But when I mentioned that name, it was clear that Harry was thoroughly perplexed. His brows furrowed, and he looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

“Alef… Ard?” The boy repeated, mangling the words. “Who… Or what?”

“The buzzing spirit you’ve been talking to.”

“That’s its name?”

“That’s his name.” I said, frowning at the boy, who had the decency to look a little abashed. I shook my head. “I suppose I can’t blame you for being insensitive; you can still barely understand what’s happening to you. I’ve had a little more time to cope.”

I decided to dispel any doubts by calling upon the ancient spirit himself. “Alef Ard, could you appear in front of Harry, please?”

The response was swift and electrifying. In a shower of sparks that illuminated the room with a dazzling display, Alef Ard materialized before us as a single mote of soothing, yellow light. The spirit swirled and sparkled, a radiant presence that exuded an aura of both ancient wisdom and childish glee.

Harry’s shock was palpable as he watched the spectacle unfold before his eyes. Alef Ard, with an air of excitement, swirled around him for a few mesmerizing moments before settling beside me.

Harry was left in stunned silence.

“You… You are real?” Harry wondered aloud as he pushed past his shock. “I’m not going crazy?”

Alef buzzed once, and then twice.

“Yes, he’s real.” I translated. “And no, you’re not going crazy.”

A feeling of contentment washed over us both, and I saw the dramatic reaction in Harry, who relaxed noticeably. I laughed.

“It takes a little getting used to.” I said, gesturing fondly to our floating friend. “Alef’s emotions can be pretty intense, but you’ll learn to live with them in time.”

“How—” Harry said and stopped himself. His curiosity was insatiable, and he ventured further into the mystery surrounding Alef Ard as he set his eyes on the cute little spark. “Did you create him?”

I resisted the urge to flinch at that. I did have a hand in creating you, didn’t I? Even if the circumstances were far from ideal.

Alef gave a few buzzes of ambivalence but that was it.

Looking at Harry, I hesitated for a moment, carefully weighing my words.

It was a secret that was mired in murder and an innocent man’s blood. I decided to offer a partial truth, one that would provide some insight without revealing the full extent of the spirit’s origins.

I can’t tell him I killed Auror Turner. I thought. I just can’t.

“Alef Ard has always been here.” I began, choosing my words with care. “It’s like… he’s absorbed the ambient energy from everyone who’s ever attended Hogwarts. Over time, he’s formed something akin to a soul or a life.”

I watched Harry closely, hoping that this explanation would satisfy his curiosity without delving too deeply into the enigmatic origins of Alef Ard.

“Oh… I see.” Harry said, though it didn’t seem like he really understood.

So, I continued to explain. “Think of Alef as the heartbeat of Hogwarts, Harry. He’s been here since the very beginning, absorbing the essence of the castle and the magic that flows through it.”

I gestured around us, as if encompassing the entirety of Hogwarts within our conversation. “Every student, every teacher, every spell cast within these walls has contributed to Alef Ard’s existence. He’s like a living memory, a repository of the countless moments that have shaped this place.”

Harry listened attentively, his eyes never leaving the radiant form of the spirit. Alef Ard seemed to respond to my words, his ethereal presence pulsating with a gentle, rhythmic cadence.

“Hopefully, as he grows.” I continued. “He’ll take on a role that goes beyond mere existence. Maybe he’ll become a guardian for the students, or a source of wisdom. It’s all up to him; right, Alef?”

Alef circled me twice over before flying towards Harry and hiding in the rat’s nest he called hair.

“Hey!” Harry said, trying to pat his hair down but failing miserably.

“I’d just accept my situation if I were you, Harry.” I said, laughing at the boy’s predicament.

Shifting our attention back to the topic at hand, I got Harry’s attention again. “What else have you been able to see, Harry? Is there any more?”

I was genuinely curious, wondering whether Harry’s experiences with this newfound sight were similar to mine. There was a particular question on the tip of my tongue, one I hesitated to voice aloud. Could Harry see the same soul threads that I could?

Harry fell into contemplation, his gaze unfocused as he seemed to weigh his thoughts. I watched him closely, sensing that there was something on his mind, something he might be hesitant to share.

Encouraged by our earlier conversation, I gently urged him. “Harry, whatever it is, even if it seems insignificant, don’t hesitate to talk about it. We’re in this together.”

He looked at me, and I saw the cautious gratitude in his green eyes.

“Well… I’ve been seeing these strange symbols from time to time.” Harry said, looking nervous.

Harry’s admission hung in the air. I listened attentively, my curiosity piqued. I hadn’t expected anything like that.

“Symbols?” I echoed, leaning forward. “What do you mean?”

“Erm…” He hesitated again, scooting slightly away at the intensity of my gaze.

“Sorry. I got a little excited.” I said and shook my head with a chuckle before giving the boy some space. “Can you describe them, Harry? The symbols.”

Harry’s expression turned from nervousness to frustration as he attempted to recall the fine details. “They’re like… fleeting glimpses. I’ll be looking at something, and for a split second, I’ll see the symbol, but when I try to focus on it, it’s gone. I thought I was going crazy.”

I nodded thoughtfully, considering the implications of his revelation.

“Harry.” I said. “I don’t think you’re going crazy— I can’t think that; otherwise, I’d have to accept that I’m going crazy, too.”

“You see them, too?” Harry said, just as eager as I was to know more.

But, I shook my head, disappointing the boy.

“You only see the magic above certain things?” Harry pushed for more.

“No.” I denied, though I hesitated. “There is something else I’ve been able to see, but…”

“But what?”

Harry’s insistence was unwavering, and he looked at me with an earnest curiosity that I couldn’t ignore. After another brief moment of hesitation, I decided to tell him. 

Hopefully he doesn’t freak out.

I met his gaze, my voice carrying a note of uncertainty as I began. “Well, I’ve been able to see something rather strange too.”

“Stranger th—”

“Yes, even stranger than your symbols.” I cut the boy off before he could speak. I took a deep breath. “Above people’s heads, I’ve been noticing these long threads. They swirl around them, and they’re attached to their bodies.”

I paused for a moment before deciding to just go ahead and say it. “I believe they might be… souls.”

“Souls.” Harry repeated, incredulous.

Harry’s skepticism was palpable as he considered my description. It was understandable, as what I was sharing sounded ridiculous, even in a world of magic.

In response to his doubts, I took a moment to gather my thoughts before offering an explanation.

“I understand it might sound unbelievable, Harry.” I began. “But I’ve had some confirmation about these threads. Absol, she’s been able to communicate with me through a mental connection for months now. She sees these threads too, and she’s told me that they’re connected to a person’s soul. That’s what their herd has taught for as long as Thestrals have been alive. I trust their knowledge.”

Harry’s skepticism seemed to wane as he processed this new piece of information. He had experienced firsthand the extraordinary bond between a wizard and their familiar, and perhaps that lent some credibility to my claim.

There was a moment of thoughtful silence before Harry made an observation that caught me off guard. “Your eye. It does look just like a Thestral’s eye.”

“Yes, and I suspect that it functions the same way.” I admitted, my voice carrying a touch of solemnity. “I have absolutely no confirmation, but I think that’s why I can see the way I do, now.”

“Thestrals are magically linked to death, or so people seem to think, from what Hagrid’s said.” Harry said, musing as he looked down. “Maybe there’s some truth to that.”

“That’s what I’ve been thinking, too.” I said, before shaking my head and focusing my will. “Make no mistake, I’ll be getting to the bottom of it, and to the bottom of your own mystery. Speaking of which, can you draw these symbols for me?”

“It’s just the one.” Harry said, glad for the subject change. “And, sure; I just need some parchment and…”

Before he was even able to finish, the Room of Requirement responded with its characteristic magic. In a shimmering display, a table appeared in front of the couch, laden with all the materials Harry required to draw the symbol.

Harry stopped mid-sentence, a surprised smile spreading across his face as he looked at the conjured table.

“Well, that was convenient.” He remarked with a hint of amusement, acknowledging the Room’s uncanny ability to anticipate our needs.

Harry shook his head, turning his attention to the presence of Alef Ard, who was still hiding in his hair.

“Thank you, Alef.” He said, grateful.

Alef gave a happy buzz from the depths of the boy’s unruly locks before going quiet again. Smiling for another moment, Harry turned his attention down the parchment and got to work.

Harry’s determination was evident as he made several attempts to draw the symbol from memory. 

His initial tries fell short of his expectations, but he persevered, determined to capture the symbol as accurately as possible. After a few more attempts, he finally seemed satisfied with the rendition he had created.

I leaned in to examine the symbol closely.

“It looks like the element of fire— a stylized flame symbol.” I remarked, my gaze fixed on the lines and curves. “And you’ve been seeing that?”

Harry nodded in agreement, his eyes still focused on the drawing.

“Yeah.” He replied, his voice tinged with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty. “It’s strange, isn’t it? I’ve seen this symbol pop up at odd times, and I can’t figure out what it means or why it’s there. Come to think of it, the first time I saw it— well, it wasn’t even at Hogwarts.”

“Oh?” I said, intrigued. “Where, then?”

“It was… Sirius’ vault.” Harry said, now looking even more confused. “That’s when I first saw it— when we were getting our books.”

“When we’d gone to Diagon Alley?” I said, getting a nod for my trouble. “That was a while ago.”

Harry paused for a moment, his brow furrowing as he recalled the memory.

“Yes.” He confirmed, his voice tinged with uncertainty. “It was the first time I saw it. But I have no idea what it means or why it’s connected to that place. Or if the places are even connected— maybe the symbols are all over the country? Maybe the globe?”

“…” I didn’t say anything; not for the first time, I was completely stumped.

Was there yet another thing about the magical world I wasn’t aware of?

As we contemplated this mystery, Alef Ard, who had been quietly nestled in Harry’s hair, suddenly emerged. The radiant spirit hovered before us, and with a graceful display, projected the symbol we had been discussing into the air, buzzing with excitement as he did so.

Turning our attention to the spirit, I spoke. “Alef? Do you know something about this symbol?”

In response, Alef Ard emitted a single affirmative buzz.

“Huh.”

Harry, ever the intuitive thinker, voiced his thoughts, his eyes fixed on the floating symbol. “It matches the symbols I’ve seen, exactly. It’s probably because Alef has been here for centuries.”

“I was thinking the same thing.” I said, placing my fist against my mouth for a few moments before looking back up at the displayed symbol, burning it to memory

As I pondered our next step, an idea began to take shape. Turning my attention back to Alef Ard, I asked. “Alef, can you show us the locations of these symbols within Hogwarts? A map, perhaps?”

Alef Ard’s response was swift, its understanding seemingly in tune with my thoughts. The spirit began to project a miniature map of Hogwarts, its intricate layout rendered with astonishing detail.

But as Alef Ard attempted to overlay the locations of the mysterious symbol onto the map, a strange disturbance occurred. The map wavered and flickered before our eyes, as if some invisible force was resisting the revelation.

In a matter of moments, the map was dismantled, its image fading away, leaving us with a sense of bewilderment. 

Harry and I exchanged puzzled glances, realizing that this mystery was far more complex and elusive than we had initially anticipated.

As Alef Ard projected a feeling of self-disappointment, a wave of empathy washed over me. I spoke softly, trying to comfort the ancient spirit. “It’s alright, Alef. We’re all learning together, and this mystery is quickly becoming a complex one. We’ll figure it out eventually.”

“It’s strange that it didn’t work.” Harry remarked, his brow furrowing in contemplation. “I wonder if something is blocking Alef from revealing these symbols on the map.”

I nodded in agreement, my own curiosity piqued by the unexpected turn of events.

“It does seem that way.” I replied. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

For once, I found myself without the faintest clue about the true nature of the enigma we were facing. It was a humbling reminder of the vastness and complexity of the magical world, and the mysteries that still lay shrouded in darkness, waiting to be illuminated.

And yet, for some reason, I found myself excited by the prospect of the unknown.

What’s life without a little mystery, after all? I thought, smiling to myself for a moment before turning my gaze to Harry. “We’ll figure this out. We always do.”

Harry only nodded, sending an almost longing gaze to his own drawings of the symbol.

oooo

Elsewhere…

Deep within the earth, through an unknown amount of tunnels and chambers, a sense of age and antiquity hung heavy in the air. This subterranean world, untouched by the passage of time, bore the weight of countless centuries upon its stony shoulders.

It had been there for centuries, but its main function— its very existence— had long been forgotten.

The largest chamber of the cave was a testament to the ancient echoes that reverberated within its confines. The walls, adorned with stalactites and stalagmites, bore the marks of countless millennia of geological transformation.

The chamber had not known the presence of a human soul for generations. It stood as a remnant of what was, a silent witness to the ebb and flow of history. The air was thick with an aura of solitude, a poignant reminder that time had moved on while this sacred space remained suspended in its own timeless existence.

As the minutes passed in the series of caverns, a peculiar phenomenon began to unfold in what could only be called the main chamber. In its heart, a strange symbol depicting a stylized flame appeared to materialize gradually, as if it were emerging from a deep slumber. It shimmered into existence, its lines and curves forming with an ethereal quality.

The chamber itself seemed to hold its breath, as if in awe of the symbol’s presence for a moment. And then, it began to pulse.

Ba-dum. Ba——dum. Badum. Ba—Ba—dum. Ba-dum.

At first, its pulsations were irregular, a chaotic rhythm that seemed to defy understanding. However, as moments passed, a discernible pattern emerged— a rhythm akin to the beat of a human heart.

Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

With each pulsation, lines of radiant magic illuminated the stone floor beneath it. It was as though a lifeforce had awakened, coursing through the previously dormant lines etched into the cave’s floor. The dirt-ridden stone, once worn and derelict, underwent a transformation of remarkable proportions.

The lines of magic seemed to throb like veins, carrying a luminous energy that washed over the stone floor. It cleansed away the accumulated dust and grime, revealing the true nature of the rock beneath.

What was once a dark and desolate cave now gleamed with the brilliance of shining, reflective rock. The chamber had undergone a metamorphosis, shedding the vestiges of age to emerge anew, a place bathed in the radiance of its own rekindled magic.

The flame symbol pulsed thrice more, before gently sinking and melding with the polished stone floor beneath it.

All it had to do now was wait.